Group Projects=Death

Hi everyone! I've had a substantial increase in readers in the last couple weeks. I have my wonderful parents to thank for that. Also, thanks to everyone who read my story about my drug journey through epilepsy. It means a lot.
To the matter at hand, sorry for not keeping y'all up to date these past couple weeks. It's the end of the semester, so I'm very busy! While I have a free moment, I will share with you what I've been up to. For my class finals I have to:

• Expand on one of my nonfiction essays
• Collaborate with a team for a "client editing project" 
• Do a secondary research report
• Take another test (that's the easy one)

The client editing project is the most stressful. I was elected team leader, and I hate it (: 

Let me tell you why: my group has next to zero communication. As much as I try texting in our group chat, I don't get many responses, and when I do, it's hours later, which is very stressful. Two of my subordinates never complete their assigned work until a couple hours before class, which is also stressful, because I have to look over their work before I submit it. AND.... none of our schedules line up, so in the two weeks we've been working on this, we've had two group meetings, and neither of them included the entire group. 

Now, let me explain to you what the goal for this project is: my group has to edit, format, and put together a Wikipedia booklet on the RMS Lusitania. For those of you who don't know, the Lusitania was a British ocean-liner during WWI that was sunk by Germany. Since this ship was transporting over 100 American citizens, it was one of the deciding factors of United States' declaration of war on Germany. Interesting stuff. 

This Wikipedia page has a little of 10,000 words in it. That's 10,000 words that we have to copy/developmental edit, format, and throw into a booklet. We also have to write up a client letter to a fake client explaining to them why their Wikipedia page is garbage and why our booklet is better. This wouldn't be so bad if my team was capable of communicating with each other. But alas, it's up to me. Takeaway: I despise group projects.  

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Feels Like Home...

Happy Thursday
I wrote an essay yesterday that's a "research/personal hybrid" essay. It basically means I do some research on something that I relate to myself, and then I mix that research with my personal thoughts and/or memories. Hope y'all like it.

Feels Like Home…

Canyon, Texas is a small city just outside Amarillo. In the 2010 census, the population was 13,303. In 2010, my grandparents were a part of that population.

I lived in Canyon most summers of my childhood. For three months, I would be able to eat pancakes at any time of the day—always paired with a Snapple bottle, washed out and refilled with milk.

My cousin lived in Canyon with our grandparents. Our summers were filled with silly adventures acted out on a trampoline—jumping around and pretending we were different people. After an hour we’d get tired enough to go inside and play Mario, Sonic, or Zelda. The fun never ended as long we were together.

Canyon lies in a valley that eventually becomes the Palo Duro Canyon. Palo Duro is home to the world-famous outdoor musical Texas, which plays every summer. I’ve seen that play at least five times.

The first time I saw Texas, I was with my entire family: my grandparents, cousins, sister, aunts, my uncle, and my dad. It was magical. Before every performance, right at sunset, a man on a horse will ride across the top of the canyon holding the Texas flag. The whole crowd, including me, goes insane with Texan pride.

The last time I saw the play, it was just me, my sister and my cousin. But it was still just as magical as the first time I saw it.

Canyon is home to West Texas A&M University. Some of my dad’s side of the family went there. They have a waterpark inside the school. Looking back, it wasn’t anything fancy. One slide, a lazy river, whirlpool, and a kiddie section, but when I was 10, it might as well have been Hurricane Harbor. I spent hours there with my family.

The average low temperature during Christmas time is around 25 degrees Fahrenheit. I have never seen more snow than when I spent the holidays in Canyon. I never packed properly. My dad would always make runs to Walmart to buy warm socks and boots to keep my feet dry, but he never complained, at least I don’t think he did.

The city motto is Feels Like Home… and it always did. I hated leaving my grandparents house every summer. The 6-hour drive home often felt like a drive away from home. If I could relive one moment of my life, I would choose any day out of any one of those summers—a day where I would wake up at 9:00 a.m., and have my granny waiting for me at the dining table, my pawpaw making breakfast in the kitchen, and a Snapple bottle full of milk.

In 2010 my granny was a part of the Canyon population. In 2011 she wasn’t. That was my last summer spent there.

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Happy Epilepsy Awareness Month

About a week ago I wrote a nonfiction essay about the different medications I've had to take to control my seizures.
Here's a little background:
I was diagnosed with epilepsy November of 2013. My first seizure happened while I was working; I was a server at a pizza cafe. I was diagnosed a couple weeks later. I didn't want to take medication at first, because I knew that my body would end up relying on it, but I didn't have a choice, and now I do rely on it. I've gone through three different medications, the first one was the worst one I was on. I'm still taking the second two together every single night.
Here's the essay. Hope y'all like it.

Drug Facts

KEPPRA

Symptoms may include but are not limited to: sleepiness, weakness, dizziness, and irritability. You will experience all of these symptoms. You will not speak to anyone, and when you do it will be curt and annoyed. Your mom will cry because she doesn’t know why you’re so rude, but she does know why, and that makes her cry more.

You will have to quit the dance team because practicing two hours a day at 6:00 a.m. five days a week will take too much of a toll on your mind and body, and you’ll bawl your eyes out when you see the Spring Showcase at the end of the year, because you had to give up something you truly adored.

Your grades will fall because you do nothing but sleep. You won’t be able to help it. Exhaustion will overcome you. You won’t remember you had homework until it’s too late—you’ll get rejected to the first college you apply to.

LAMICTAL

Symptoms may include but are not limited to: tremors, drowsiness, back pain, and sleep problems. You won’t notice these side effects until much later, but they come, and you won’t be surprised. You’ll be happy though, because, unlike the last medication, you won’t feel moody all the time. It will be like stepping out of a bubble. The bubble that you’ve been in for over a year. The one that made your friends go away.

Eventually, you’ll have to increase the dosage, because the twitches won’t go away. They won’t ever go away, but you don’t know that yet.

You’ll probably be on this medication for the rest of your life.

ZONEGRAN

Symptoms may include but are not limited to: loss of appetite, loss of coordination, drowsiness, and headaches. The headaches won’t be much of an issue, but you’ll start to notice other things. You won’t know whether it’s from the medication itself or from the epilepsy. You won’t care. You’ll just hope the combination of this drug with the one you’re on now will actually work. It will.

You’ll go over three years without a seizure. Technically, your doctor can try to take you off the medicine if you go over three years seizure free, but you’ll be too scared to stop taking it. You know it’s a crutch, one you might not be able to live without. You’ll purposefully miss a dose every now and then to see what would happen. The next day the twitches get worse, and you’ll be embarrassed when someone notices it, and you will pretend like you can’t see their face change when they do notice it.

And you’re back popping pills that same night.

The day of my first seizure ☮

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As Promised

Here is a nonfiction essay that I wrote. This essay is a "collage essay" because it is made up of different sections that, when put together, create the theme of the essay. Another great collage essay is Ira Sukrugruang's "Loose Interpretations of the Dreams You've Had During Naps in Thailand While Your Mom Listens to Buddhist Sermons About Suffering"

Enjoy.

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Moving Day!

I'm moving into my first house today! I wouldn't be nearly as excited if I didn't have two dogs. Also, no more sharing a wall with strangers who have sex very loudly. We were able to find a lovely woman to take over our lease since it doesn't end til March, so everything is working out wonderfully.
In some other news, school is going well. All A's so far. I've been thinking of posting a nonfiction essay on here once a week, so I might start doing that on Thursdays. Might.
For my technical writing class, I had to put together a survey asking various questions about pies, desserts, and a pie distributor named Queen Bee Pie Shop (which is currently not in business). If you would like to help my grade, you can take the survey HERE
The deadline to take the survey is this Friday, October 26th.

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Let's Get Ready to Ramble

It's that time of the semester. Time to build my schedule for the next semester. Today, I went and spoke with my academic adviser to figure out what classes are left for me to graduate. After this semester, I will have 27 hours left. At three hours a class, 4-5 classes a semester, I will be able to finish college by the end of next summer.
Apparently, even though I'll be finishing my hours in the summer, I can still participate in the May graduation ceremony. I am so excited about this, because it means I can walk with my class.
This past year has been a mess. I only took one class the ENTIRE year, and that completely threw me off balance. But, I got back on track with summer classes, and now I'm back at school full time. I had come to terms about not being able to graduate when I initially intended to, but now I feel so much better.
In other news, I'm moving--again! My best friend, whom I've lived with before, and have mentioned in a previous post, has procured a lovely five-bedroom house. My boyfriend and I will hopefully be moved in by the end of the month. Our current roommates don't know yet... oops.
In OTHER news, I have decided to completely take out the introduction to my book. I've read it, and edited it, over and over again. No matter what I do, I don't like it, and it doesn't need to be there. I have yet to get past the first three chapters, but I still plan on finishing it. Hopefully by the time I'm 30.
That was a joke. I want to finish it by the end of next year...maybe...hopefully...

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Writer's Block

I haven't posted anything of substance on here in awhile, and here's why: I'm stumped. I have opened the file of my book a dozen times and every time I do I just stare at it. Sometimes I read it and hate it, other times I don't. Regardless, I never change it, and I never add to it. It sucks, because I felt like I was on such a roll, and now I've come to a screeching halt.
Maybe I'll just blog in the meantime and hope that inspiration comes with rambling.

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Time to Fangirl

Greetings! Last Monday was the first day of the fall semester, and so far it has been successful. My professors are wonderful, and it seems like it will be a productive 3 months. This semester I am taking 4 classes: Sociology: Demography, Advanced Tech Writing, Tech Editing, and Creative Nonfiction Writing. So far, I am pleased with all my classes as well as their syllabi.
Now, on to the topic of this post. For my advanced tech writing course it is required that we conduct an interview of a professional within our field of choice. I would like to be an author one day, so I wanted to interview one. I, unfortunately, don't know many published authors, so I did not have anyone readily available to interview. However, I think I've mentioned before that my favorite author is Christopher Moore. He's wonderful.
So, out on a limb, just for kicks and giggles, I go to his official website where there is an option to e-mail him. So I do. I explain to him how I'm a student wanting to conduct an interview and would like to ask him a few questions. Christopher Moore is a pretty big deal in the world of fiction, so I assumed nothing would come out of it, I just thought it would be fun to try. BUT LOW AND BEHOLD, NOT AN HOUR LATER, he replies, and he says he would be happy to answer any questions I have for him via e-mail. (I did, in fact, offer to chat over Skype or face-to-face even though I have no idea where he lives, but to no avail.)
I start FREAKING out, because I am a HUGE fan of his work and have always wanted to meet/interact with him and now I'm getting to interview him, even if it is electronically. I'm psyched to say the least.

I have sent him my questions and I am eagerly waiting for his response. I will keep y'all updated. 😉

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HELP

Stressful day today. As you know, I am a poor college student living off peasant wages, and today I realized I need to come up with a substantial amount of money to pay for school, next months rent (at new apartment), pet deposit, and apparently a fine issued by apartment management because my dog "attacked" someone. My dog has never attacked anyone. She barks a lot, and greets strangers with much enthusiasm, but never attacks. I was not there for this event. My future new roommate was walking her without a leash. If anyone knows my dog they know to either A. use a leash so she doesn't run up to strangers, or B. make sure the coast is clear of anyone if you want to walk with her off-leash. They did not do this, now I must pay for it.

I don't know if I ever mentioned that I live in a literal shit hole. Every weekend there are hoodlums causing mayhem at the bar across the street and the cops always show up. I've heard gunshots, street fights, you name it. Someone even tried to break in to my apartment once. The inside of my apartment is not much better. I live with 2 dogs and 4 cats. I'm allergic to cats, and my roommate's dog enjoys shitting on my couch. So that's my life. I'm eager to move to this new place, I am not eager to pay a whole new set of deposits and fees. I wasn't expecting to pay these things, but here I am, going to Coinstar, and selling my clothes at Plato's Closet. Because that's how desperate I am. 

Please, do not take this post as looking for your sympathies or your pity. I am merely venting, and am sure all will work itself out in the end. Good day.

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Guess Who Has a Social Life?

Hey everyone! A lot has happened since my last post. I've actually gone out with friends every weekend for the past 2 weeks and I'm going out again tomorrow. AND I've made new friends. AND I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a year. I went with my boyfriend, and we worked on our legs. So naturally, I'm in a lot of pain.
It all started when my best friend of 18 years asked me to go out to a bar with her a couple weeks ago. I hadn't seen this friend in over a year, so I was very excited to say the least. A couple nights after that we went out again because an old friend from high school (wow, that's weird to say) DJs at a local bar. So, whilst at this bar, we run into A LOT of people from high school. Normally, this would be an awkward experience, but there's something different about running in to someone at a bar rather than at Walmart or something. Could be that everyone's drunk. Anywho, we ran in to these two girls who I was kind of friends with in high school but not really. Nonetheless, we were all very excited to see each other, and ended up spending the whole night together and having a grand ol' time. I bet you're wondering, "When will this go wrong, Addison?" well, I will tell you.
Later that night, at 2 am, when all the bars are closing, I'm looking around for my best friend who I had come with that night, and who was also my ride home. I couldn't find her anywhere, but I also knew that she had a met a semi-attractive guy that night. Ah, Yes, I thought to myself, I have been ditched for a guy (Whose name I won't reveal but it's a character from Pokemon). So, I call my friend, and turns out she has gone to his apartment. Normally, I'd be mad, but I was with friends, and if I were alone she wouldn't have left me, so I let it slide. I did, however, have to get a ride from one of the girls from high school and was crammed in the backseat with 3 guys whom I had never met before.
Fast forward to me entering this guy's apartment, and I'm relieved because there was no evidence of non-consensual sex and they are just watching Rooster Teeth. We ended up sobering up there, and she drove me home. The end.

I know I look the same in this as I do in my avatar photo. I promise I have different clothes and hairstyles.

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90% Accurate

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Don't Laugh at My Writing Unless I'm Being Deliberately Funny

Okay, so I've been writing this book for awhile, and so far so good. Though, at one point I did have to go back and delete half of it and essentially start from scratch, but so far so good. As of right now, I am on the 3rd chapter, and it feels exciting. It's one thing to talk about being an author, but to actually start doing it... it's weird. I don't know if my book is really that good, the only other person who has read it is my mom. She said it was good, but it would be nice to have another person's opinion. The problem is, I'm pretty shy when it comes to sharing my work. It's not that I'm afraid of criticism. Being an English major, it's a requirement to welcome critiques with open arms, and other students are pretty ruthless. I'd much rather have a professor critique my work than other students. They can be downright cruel. I'm talking laughing at a story/poem that you spent a good deal of time on.
But I digress, I'm afraid to show other people because I really like what I've written so far. That is super rare for me, and probable a lot of other artists. So, if I show another person and they put it down, I'm scared that I won't like it anymore. I would just feel defeated.
Of course, if a book of mine happened to get published, I wouldn't expect everyone to like it. That's insanity. Everyone has their own taste. For example, a lot of people I know basically lived off Twilight when that was a thing. I, however, read the first chapter and decided it wasn't for me. Different taste.
But that's after my book gets published. Which is after I've learned all the important people like what I've written, so I don't have to care as much anymore. Up until then, I care a lot.

PS: This is a longer post, so I don't feel like going back and proofreading. Sorrie if their our typos.

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What a Day

WHAT a productive day. I went to school this morning, read a little bit, wrote a little bit, went to work, wrote some more, and now I'm blogging. I know it doesn't sound productive, but when you have a passion for writing and go months without doing so, it feels like a big accomplishment to be writing consistently again. And it's not even for school. I mean, some of it is for school, but most of it is for me. I also got a $20 tip at work today, so yay!

I started reading a new book today, which I'm also proud of myself for because I haven't done any recreational reading in awhile. I'm reading Neil deGrasse Tyson's Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, and so far so good. At first I thought it would be a dense read, and hard to get through, but I like it so far. It's very well written, and makes astrophysics seem almost understandable, so job well done Dr. Tyson. There's this one quote in there I really like, "We are stardust brought to life, then empowered by the universe to figure itself out⎯and we have only just begun." Beautiful.

I'm only one chapter in and I highly recommend this book. It's incredible. And for those of you who say I'm speaking too soon... I don't really care.

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POWER OUTAGE

HELLO. Today is a wonderful 100 degrees outside (feels like 108) and my apartment is experiencing a power outage due to everyone in the area feeling like they are entitled to however much electricity they want. My wonderful roommate feels it is acceptable to turn our AC down to 68 whenever there is zero weather stripping on our front door. Thus, our last bill was pricey. She has since learned her lesson (turning it up to 72 for a few hours of the day). Thankfully, I am not home today. But I bet you anything my wonderful roomie took advantage of me not being there, snickering to herself as she turns the thermostat down 4 notches lower. And now the whole neighborhood is experiencing a power outage.
But I kid, it was probably the sour old couple who lives in the building behind us. They seem like the type to soak up a lot of power. A "power trip," if you will.

PS: I love my roommate. She really is wonderful. I bear her no ill will.

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Goodbye ASL and Tech Comm, Hello Poetry and Sociology

Hello! Today is the last day of the first session of the semester. Yesterday should have been the last day, but surprise! Professors are sadists. Today, we are finishing up an "employment outlook report" in which we have to do extensive research on our career of choice (ouch for the undecided majors) and write a report about it. This is a group project. Why is this a group project? I could not tell you. So, four people in a group with different ambitions: Tech writing, Author (Me!), surgeon (the dumb one), and the car salesman (the smart one). We all have to research our jobs, and then shove all that research together so it makes sense. Guess how many days we had to do this? Four! :)
Right now, I am in a group chat with my team members trying to collaborate just how to format this while we are not together. Thank god for docs. However, the dumb girl in my group, who wants to be surgeon, cannot seem to figure things out. She doesn't know how to change a graph. Come on, it's not brain surgery. Right? Because she want to be a surgeon? Hah.
Don't get me wrong, I've tried to show her how, I'm not a bitch to her all the time. But when I can't help her with something, I just tell her to ask the lab staff. Does she? No. She just whines. Thus, she got a 67 from me on the team evaluation. Suck it.
Next session starts on Monday and it will consist of poetry and sociology, the unspoken money makers of America.

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I Don't Care About Your Cat

Hi all! So my last post made my father uncomfortable. I can't sort out why that is. It couldn't possibly be all the penis talk. But, to be fair, I did also talk about school. I think that's a bit redeeming. Anyway, I haven't posted in awhile. Not that it matters, I only have one reader I think, and it's my dad. 

ANYWAY, here's what happened today: I got up, went to school, went to my boyfriend's, took the dogs for a walk, got caught in the rain, went to the mall, spent money I didn't have, now I'm back home doing this to practice writing for an audience (hey Dad!). 

So school has been great. I've actually made some friends. I don't really plan on seeing them outside of school, but maybe it'll happen. For right now, they're good distractions from whatever my professor happens to be teaching at that moment. You know? That moment when some other student thinks what they have to say is more important than what the professor is saying? Today it was, "Hey, look at these pictures of my cat that I took on portrait mode." 

I'm not saying I dislike these people. They are nice and I get along with them whenever we do have a second to chat, but I am genuinely trying to achieve an A in a class where the professor straight up told us that her average is a B. We are halfway through this semester, and I am making an 89. *eye twitch*  

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School and Circumcisions

We're at the end of the first week of the semester and things so far so good. However, next week for a project I have to look at 3 internships in my field of interest, which is publishing. I know this will be useful, but I have to go out and find someone to interview who works in that field. I'm not sure how easy I'll be able to find someone to interview. I don't know of a lot of publishers where I live. But for the sake of a good grade, I will prevail!

If you're wondering what I'm doing right now, I found this science podcast on Spotify called Science Vs. and I'm listening to the pros and cons of circumcisions. Pros: can protect from infection and some STDs. Cons: it's painful. And something I didn't know, circumcisions don't effect men's sex lives, so the benefits outweigh the risks. 

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First Day of the Semester

Today I started the summer semester. And I am frightened. At first I thought, "this will be a piece of cake; it's only one month long." False. It will be awful. I have an assignment/quiz/test nearly every single day because of how little time there is in the semester. There won't be a single day this summer where I won't be doing homework or reading from a textbook. So this is my life now. I've already finished everything for today, but it's only the first day, so there wasn't much to do.
The classes I am taking as of right now are technical writing and ASL 3. I don't know which class I'm most nervous for. Probably technical writing, just because my professor said her average grade was a B. I'm typically an A student, so challenge accepted. On this first day of class, we had to write a memo. Pretty easy stuff, only one page long. My ASL professor is pretty awesome. He's quite funny and I'm thinking I could make an A in his class. Although I haven't practiced sign language in over a year. This will be a grand summer, indeed.
Here's something kind of funny, in my ASL class, which is my first class of the day, someone pulled the fire alarm. This was in the Business Leadership Building (BLB) at University of North Texas (UNT). It's a pretty big building, so lots of people outside. Whoever pulled that alarm must've really not liked his/her class.  It was a great way to start off the semester.
There is something my tech comm. professor shared with the class today. It's a commencement speech called "This is Water" by David Foster Wallace. He delivered this speech at Kenyon College and it really is awesome. I promise it's not boring. It has some humor and is very insightful and inspiring. So, if you feel so inclined, you should listen to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=8CrOL-ydFMI
Don't know if I'll be blogging as much since apparently I'll be super duper busy, but as a writer who doesn't write, I shall try.

Found this gem in my textbook. I always thought redundancy and repetition meant the same thing. Regardless, avoid both I guess.

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An Uninteresting Post

Turns out my life is not very interesting. I don't know what to blog about today. There's really not much going on currently, except for my mom getting a new house, which is awesome, but not something I could really blog about. If you want an update on the whole work situation I mentioned in my last post, my manager called me today and told me she thought I was unavailable on weekends. False. I can work on weekends, just not Fridays. So, that's the most interesting thing in my life right now. I'll have more to talk about when school starts on Monday. Cheerio.

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Yay for College and Part Time Jobs!

The summer semester starts next Monday, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Last fall I didn't take any classes, and last spring I only took one class that I hardly had to go to because attendance wasn't mandatory and everything I needed to pass the exams was on blackboard. So, it's been awhile since I've actually been to school. I'm kind of excited. I feel like a lazy bum when I'm not doing anything substantial with my time, so school helps with that. It's also just nice to get further in my degree, even if I am scared for life after graduation.
This summer I'm taking 4 classes. Those classes are: technical writing, sociology (a class focused on mental health), ASL 3, and a poetry class. Out of all of them, I'd say ASL is the one I'm most nervous for. It's been over a year since my last ASL class, so I've forgotten some things. But I'm sure it'll be okay. Luckily, the summer semester is much shorter. It's split up into two "minimesters" that only last about a month each, so it will go by fast. It will be a nice way to get me back into the swing of things.
Oh, so here's some shit. So I work at Pizza Hut, right? I'm a delivery driver. This week, my boss decides to give me ONE SHIFT. 6.5 hours for the WHOLE WEEK. Pretty angry about this, I texted her, and am like, dude wtf? (Except it came out more like, "hey....just curious, why am I only working one day this week?") So she tells me, "Oh, well I was in a hurry when I was making the schedule, but I'll give you more hours next week." WELL A LOT OF GOOD THAT DOES ME JENNIFER. Here's to a productive week.

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Swish and Flick

Today I introduced my boyfriend to the masterpiece of Harry Potter. No boyfriend of mine will be unfamiliar with the ways of the wizarding world. Before he starting watching the movies, he referred to the golden snitch as the "golden nugget." Nope.
Harry Potter is probably my favorite franchise. Like many people my age, I grew up with it. And, not to brag, I read all the books. People who have only seen the movies don't actually realize how much lore there is to the series. I'm not going to go into it, but for anyone who hasn't read the books, you should. It's an easy read, and it's worth it. So much more to be learned. Rant over.
J.K. Rowling is a big inspiration of mine when it comes to writing. I've been leaning toward trying my hand in fantasy novels and I think she's the perfect role model. I can't even begin to comprehend how she planned out 7 books and managed to connect them all so seemingly seamlessly.
There are other reasons I look up to her. For example, it's always nice to see another woman success in your field of choice. Also, her career didn't take off until her 30s, which is uplifting.
My favorite author, if you're wondering, is Christopher Moore. I adore his books. If you want to give him a go, I'd recommend Coyote Blue, it's my favorite.

Side note: I was sorted into house Ravenclaw (Go Ravens!) 

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Happy Birthday!

Today is my sister's birthday. This year she is turning 24(?) That's crazy to me. I'm sure it's more crazy to her. Time is weird. People like to say time doesn't really exist, you know, the existentialists. That's the type of thought that gets you lost in your head. However, I think time exists in a way. The Earth does rotate, and it does orbit the Sun. These things indicate the passage of time. So, why say it doesn't exist? Because time wasn't really given a meaning until humans came along? Humans gave meaning to a lot of things. It could be argued that it's all arbitrary, but I don't know. For some reason, I think young people (more specifically young adults) tend to think more about the fleetingness of time more than most. Is it because we're so caught up with success that we're afraid if we don't achieve it sooner rather than later our chances will get slimmer? Because that's what I'm afraid of.
Most authors get published by their late 20s. I'm 21 now, and I can't see myself getting published. Everything I write sounds too vanilla to me. Like no one will care.

Just to name a few (https://electricliterature.com)

This is sounding more depressing than I intended. I'm actually in a good mood today (: happy birthday, sis!

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I Never Had a Pre-K Graduation

Today was my niece's Pre-K graduation. In one word, it was adorable. 15 or so 5-year-olds all singing loud and proud, except for my niece. Evidently, getting up and speaking in front of people is not something she enjoys doing. She's definitely not alone on that. Today, watching these kids graduate and start their journey on to grade school, it made me think of how I'm graduating college soon. I say soon, it'll be another year and half (hopefully).
It would be one year, except I missed one semester and only took one class the next. I wasn't planning on doing that, but it happened, and now I'll be graduating late. I've come to terms with it. At first I was upset with myself. I thought I needed to graduate in four years in order to be a success, but a part of me is relieved I'm graduating late. I'm terrified for what comes after college.
It's not that I don't know what I want to do. I have a plan for my life, I'm just not sure how I'm going to make it happen. I want to go into publishing, and hopefully write a book one day. When I tell people this, I feel proud, I feel like it's a good ambition. What they don't know when I tell them this, is that I'm a lazy ass who actually never writes a goddamn thing outside of school. I started a book, but I have this problem, which is common amongst artists, where I actually despise everything I write. It's not that I don't like my book idea. I think it has potential, but I have trouble working out important details and then putting those details into captivating words. Am I being captivating right now?
So, after months and months of not writing anything, I'll try to write something, end up hating it, and then go into another hiatus. It's a vicious cycle, indeed. One which will land me in a soul sucking cubicle. Sigh.

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